If something is labelled 'New and Improved' there is a 52% chance that it is the same old shit in a brighter wrapper.
If billed as 'Ultra' or 'Extreme' however there is a 78% chance that it will fuck you up.
If billed as 'Ultra' or 'Extreme' however there is a 78% chance that it will fuck you up.
"Real Pro Ultra Total Body Massage Lounger will get the tension
out of your body and even features Junetsuultra-kneading massaging.
This bad boy is the ultimate throne for a bachelors pad!"
The copywriter is inferring, I believe, that I should, as a bachelor, dream of pleasuring myself in this chair.
No doubt that is a bad-ass extreme jerk throne but $4700 retail is an awful lot when I can just use the same chair I've been using since I bought it for $199 assembled at the Office Depot in 2005. Man I remember that day too I just couldn't wait I rushed back so fast to my pad thinking what I was going to do with that chair.
And how about that sales guy too? On the way out he yells to me, "Well thank you again sir and why don't you just go fuck yourself?"
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